03 May Motivational Change vs. Behavioral Change
Motivation Thursdays with Mrs. Samuels
Motivational Change = I can’t do it until I feel like it. I won’t feel like it until the circumstances are ideal. The circumstances won’t be ideal until everyone involved does what I need/expect them to do. Or the circumstances won’t be ideal until I have the time, the resources, the confidence, or support from others.
Behavioral Change = Action = More Action
If you find yourself waiting to make a much-needed change, but are waiting on the motivation to do so, you might be waiting a really long time. We are experts at putting things off, especially the things that can be of most value to ourselves and our relationships.
I will start taking care of my physical health when my work stress is more manageable. (Poor physical health INCREASES work stress!)
I will start treating my spouse/partner with more respect and understanding when they do the same. (If you and your partner are in an unhealthy cycle, SOMEONE has to make the first move to break the cycle.)
I will be a more patient parent when my kids have earned my patience and grace. (You will most likely be waiting forever. Show them what patience and grace looks like even if they don’t “deserve it”)
I will have the motivation to work harder and excel at my job once my coworkers realize how important I am. (Don’t wait for someone else’s approval to determine your abilities.)
I will allow myself to grieve disappointments, failures, hurts, traumas, and loss when I feel confident my emotions won’t affect my work, relationships, or others. (NOT grieving IS affecting your work, relationships, and others.)
I will treat myself better with thoughts, words, and actions WHEN I deserve it. (YOU ALWAYS DESERVE IT. If this is something you struggle with, SO many do, consider how you would talk to a close friend. Would you use degrading words? No, you wouldn’t. You deserve the same treatment.)
I will seek out the help I need when _____ gets too much for me to handle. (Working through personal issues are a lot easier when we haven’t imploded everything around us. Waiting until I can’t handle it anymore is saying once everything is destroyed I will try and figure it out.)
If you can relate to any of the above, or you can think of other changes that need to be made, DON’T wait for the motivation to do so. Make the first move, behavioral change doesn’t wait for ideals. One small behavior change leads to many behavior changes. Stop waiting for the right time.
I know a lot of people fear change, in fact, we confuse comfortability for safety. Change is the desired outcome, the TRANSITION to change is what is uncomfortable. The good news…transitions are short. Stop waiting, start DOING!
What is the next right thing?
Have a great weekend!
Amanda Samuels, LMFT
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